Pop & Circumstance: Jessica Simpson is pregnant, and nobody seems to care

Jessica Simpson is pregnant, but where's the usual hysteria? Photo by Mike Coppola, Getty Images.

The Simpson family never seems to have it easy, do they? After 12 years of patterned success and failures, this dysfunctional family still cant hide from the paparazzi blitz and barrage.

But somehow, they are always second best.

Even in 1999, Jessica stood one step behind competitors Britney and Christina. Her single wasnt released fast enough, her beats werent up enough, her image wasnt sexy enough. Let us not forget that Jess never made it as a Mickey Mouse Club member back when the three were just school girls. Like the others, however, her sound would start as powerful and end up, well, painfully breathy.

And while Britney never married N*SYNCs Justin Timberlake, and Christina never hooked up with any of the Backstreet Boys (as far as we know), Jessica did have one thing going: her relationship with Nick Lachey, of lesser-known boy band 98 Degrees. Take what you got and run with it, yeah?

A reality series was pitched, which premiered in 2003. The first of its kind, really. Nick and Jessica made themselves into household names by letting millions take a look into their semi-private life as a celebrity couple. The fact that Jessica claimed to be saving her virginity for marriage didnt hurt ratings, either. Newlyweds produced the famous Chicken by the Sea commentary, in addition to Dad-ager Joe Simpson quotable praise for his daughters boobs. Remember this?

Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, shes sexy in both. Shes got double Ds! You cant cover those suckers up!

Sorry t! o remind you. We tried to forget, too.

Nick and Jess filed for divorce in 2005, citing irreconcilable differences, yadda yadda yadda. At the very same time, little sister Ashlee launched her own reality series, which chronicled the recording of her first album, Autobiography. The following years had its ups and downs for Ash: Entertainment Weekly named her one of its Breakout Stars of 2004, and then the SNL catastrophe happened. She went through the arduous Hollywood task of rhinoplasty, and then she got knocked up by and married to Fall Out Boys Pete Wentz. Short-lived stints on a reprise of Melrose Place and Broadways Chicago followed. Oh yeah, then Ash and Pete filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences at the start of 2011. Look how this paragraph came full circle!

The only thing Jessica was getting press for was her undeniable weight gain and poor fashion choices. Her albums (Christmas-themed and country) were minor messes. Jessica became a jinx (George W. Bushs words, not mine) for boyfriend/Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and the two split a year a half later.

What were really trying to get to is this: Jessica Simpson is pregnant, and it doesnt seem like anybody cares.

In 2010, Jess began dating Eric Johnson. This name means nothing to most of you he played for the San Francisco 49ers for awhile, and he was married once before. Thats pretty much all we know about the man. Six months after the courtship began, the two announced their engagement. Yes, theyre having a baby. Yes, they have names picked out. Same old story, some old characters (what is it with faded Hollywood females and their athletes?!)

Could Newlyweds: Jessica and Eric be the Oxygen Networks latest pick up?

I love my trash TV, but count me out on this one. The Simpsons need to get out the spotlight stat, and find their way behind the curtain.

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Allison Berger is a Philadelphia-based writer and a pop music columnist for Reverb. Check out more of her writing here.